So, You’re Officiating a Wedding? Here’s How to Not Panic (or Forget to Tell People to Sit Down)

Hi, I’m Joni, an Iowa wedding videographer who spends a lot of weekends hearing every kind of wedding ceremony under the sun. My husband Travis and I film weddings around Cedar Rapids, Iowa City, and Des Moines, so we’ve seen officiants who crushed it and… officiants who kind of winged it. (Spoiler: winging it usually shows.)

This post is for you…the friend, sibling, or cool uncle who just got asked to officiate. My brother recently officiated for friends and called me like, “What do I do??” If you’ve asked the same thing, this blog is your cheat sheet.

Have a Plan (Even a Loose One):

You don’t need a 20-page script, but don’t just get up there and freestyle like it’s open mic night. Here’s a super simple ceremony order to keep you on track:

1. Processional (the walking-in part)
2. Welcome + Introduction (say hi, crack a smile, maybe a joke)
3. Sit Down Cue (yes, literally tell everyone to sit — they will thank you)
4. Readings / Personal Stories (keep these short, especially if it’s hot)
5. Vows (personal or repeat-after-me)
6. Rings + “I Dos”
7. Pronouncement (“I now pronounce you…” etc.)
8. The Kiss + Recessional (cheering encouraged)

Keep It Short (But Not Too Short):

Twenty minutes is usually perfect. Long enough to be meaningful, short enough that Grandma isn’t melting in the sun.

Read the Room (Literally):

If it’s blazing hot, skip the 10-minute reading from Corinthians. Pick one quick passage or short quote and move on. Bonus points if you make everyone laugh about the weather…“We’re all getting a nice glow today.”

Make It About the Couple:

This sounds obvious, but talk about them. Tell a story that fits their vibe, how they met, what you’ve seen in their relationship, why everyone is here celebrating them. This isn’t your TED Talk debut.

Keep It Light:

Sprinkle in a little humor, but don’t roast the couple too hard. A well-placed joke makes everyone relax, just keep it PG, especially if Grandma is in the front row.

Final Thoughts:

Officiating is an honor, not a punishment. Keep it short, keep it meaningful, and make sure everyone sits down after the bride walks in. Most importantly, have fun! The couple will remember the words you said for the rest of their lives, and if you do it right, so will everyone else.

And hey, if you want to see what a great ceremony looks and sounds like on film, check out our wedding films. We capture the vows, the laughs, and even the “oh my gosh it’s hot” moments so couples can relive them forever.